It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like.....Therapy.

Guys!  I had my first real live therapy session!  And when I say MY first therapy session, I mean I was the therapist!!  Okay, okay so it wasn't a real case.  And it wasn't a real client.  Obviously.  Or I wouldn't be sharing it. It was one of my coeds from the program.  BUT!  We were given a case (Celene, the client, was at a business conference when she got date raped and just doesn't have any motivation in life anymore), and we got to film a NON-SCRIPTED session.  We filmed them so we could analyze ourselves later on.  It was actually a really great learning experience!  I'm excited to continue to practice like this.  So it was just a pretend session, but this is a big deal to me!!  Yay!  Ahhhh...I love my major...

Also, my left side is SOOOO my better side.  Hhhaaallo.  

This one is me being the client, Celene, while my friend is the therapist.

This one is of ME being the therapist!  

Lately

So I haven't blogged in a bit....Between getting ready for finals, finals, moving home, and job hunting, things have been pretty crazy!!  However, I am all moved home and have a full-time job secured for the summer!  I will be working at Autosource Motors for the summer!  No, I didn't make Nauvoo this year, but honestly I feel SOOOO much peace about it.  I knew the whole time that if the Lord wanted me there, I would go, and if He didn't this time, I wouldn't.  I am grateful to have had the opportunity just to audition!  I'm already planning on trying out again next year!!  I felt good about my finals (even aced the big huge exam that determines whether on not I qualify for the social work program.  Pheww!!  That was a blessing) and then cleaned like a mad woman, packed up, and came home - where I cleaned like a mad woman again!  My brother-in-law Scott and Adam were nice enough to come help me move because my mom and dad were on a cruise...whatever...then Scott treated Adam and me to a dinner at the one and only Angie's!  Mmm...As soon as I got home, I went around applying for jobs, and calling people all over the place.  I have decided to attend my home ward for the summer rather than the singles ward, because...just because.  Also, I want to be with my mommy.  :)  So there is a bit of an update for ya!
Other than that, the summer has proven to be a good one so far!  I have gotten to spend some fun nights with friends, babysit the babies, received a letter from my favorite Icelander, had some good chats with a pretty cute salesman cough, cough Route Manager in NC, and last night I went to a wedding reception with several of my favorite people, were we dance the night away!  Molly and Jared are so dang cute and in love.  Also, I caught the bouquet!  Excellent.  Funny story:  when I was walking away from catching it, a boy came up to me (in front of everyone, mind you) and got down on his knee and asked me to marry him (I have never seen this boy in my life, mind you).  So, I played along and everyone laughed and it was funny.  Whatever.  Then when I was turning away, everyone started chanting, "kiss her, kiss her, kiss her" so like a man, he grabbed me and kissed me right on the mouth!  My bouquet still in hand, I fist-pumped it right into the air, and everyone cheered like crazy!  More laughing then took place.   Then, with some formalities out of the way...we introduced ourselves to each other.   Haha needless to say, it was an adventure for sure....I love weddings! :D Probably won't ever see the kid again, but hey!  Everyone loves a fun story.  I just really hope someone caught a bit of it on camera because well, it was hilarious.  Speaking of cameras, my friend Jalene asked me to be her "model" or whatever for a photo shoot she wanted to do.  I was super excited for the chance to do that. She did my hair and make-up, told me what to wear and how to stand, and away we went!  She is so talented.  You should really check out more of her work HERE.  Here are some of my favorites from the afternoon:

So yeah.  It felt a little unnatural for me to do the whole no smiling thing, but I think she was please with the way they turned out.  So that's good.  Again, she is unbelievably talented and such an eye for what looks good for a photo, and what things ought to be captured.
Well, I think that's all that I'll leave ya with for now.  I have a few other things that I am excited to blog about, so I will try to be better.  In the mean time, have a fantastic summer!

Fashion Show!

Each semester the Dress and Humanities classes put on a fashion show at USU.  I am in that class, so I got to participate!  At first I thought it was kinda a dumb assignment, but I ended up loving it.  We were required to make an item of clothing out of recycled material.  The theme for the fashion show this year was "re-tell" so the categories were book genres.  My friend Taylor and I worked hard to design and make a little dress for the Western genre category.  This is how it went:

Draw out the design

Gather materials...we used gunnysacks (burlap), bandanas, and lace!

Draw out a few patterns here and there....

Sew our little hearts out - love my new sewing machine from Christmas!
 I was excited to have something to use it for.

Some details...

I think these details made the dress!  Cute lace and burlap flowers on the bandana belt.

Kellie-jo being awesome and modeling our "gunnysack prom" dress.

Guess what!  Our dress won for the Western category!  That was exciting!

This is what we won.  A Long Way Gone.  I'm excited to read it.
I've heard it's way good. 

 So this was just a fun, unique opportunity.  I was surprised at how legit it was.  Lights, a catwalk, music, etc etc.  A lot of people came too!  The TSC ballroom was packed!  So there ya have it!  If you get the chance, go to the next one!  So fun. :)

Turning Stones.

     A lot of people have asked me why I am going in to social work. Ha, sometimes they look at me like I am going to be one of those weird Psychologist eccentrics that gets all uppity trying to find answers to everything through the scholarly theories of man. That's not who I want to be.  I want to help people.  Particularly the little ones.  So, I figure now is as good of a time as ever to tell why I love social work so much, and the development of that love.   I applaud you if you read this whole thing.   A little personal (and it is very personal) history (part of my application essay):

      When I was seven years old I started seeing a family therapist for various reasons.  I didn’t really understand all of it at the time; I just knew that it was supposed to help me not feel my “scared bugs” as my dad would affectionately call them.  Some of my “scared bugs,” or anxieties, included being obsessed with the idea that I was suddenly dying of heart attack, getting extremely sick from germs, or being taken out of my room at night.  I would constantly be checking my fingernails to see if they were turning purple.  If I felt any sort of pain in my left arm, I rushed to tell my mom so she would know what to do.  I washed my hands so frequently that they dried, cracked, and bled.  When I would make my bed in the morning, it was a little makeshift bed on the floor of my parent’s room because I refused to sleep alone.  It wasn’t always like this, but it was like this frequently enough that my parents decided it would be a good idea to get me to a therapist.  I would go for phases at a time, depending on my progress, then stop for a while to see how I did on my own.  I was put on medication at ten years old; that helped too.  It wasn’t until about ninth grade that we finally got my medication, and the skills necessary to control my anxiety, figured out.  It was also around that time that I started being personal and open and I would share, hoping that others would share with me in return.  I wouldn’t mind telling people about the troubles that I had faced, and sometimes still continued to, because in a way, it allowed for walls to be broken down and we were able to learn from each other.  Because of the things I had been through as a troubled seven year old, I understood the possible vulnerabilities that others might be facing as well.  Because of what I had been through, I learned to have a sensitivity to people and an insight to the unexpressed.  

Dr. Calloway-Graham said that she was fifteen years old when she realized that social work is a calling and that it was what she knew she wanted to do with her life.  July 1, 2007 was that day for me.  I was also fifteen years old.  I wept.  It was a sacred experience to me. I remember talking about it with my parents, and having a sort of empowered feeling knowing that so often the best kind of help can come from someone who has experienced, even in some small way, similar difficulties and that my life is not my own.  I need to serve.   I wanted to use the hardship I had experienced, and turn it into strengths that could help others.  July 1, 2007 was the day I knew I wanted to be a children’s therapist.  I wanted to do what my therapist had done for me and so many other little ones.  Ever since then, I have had no question of what I wanted to do with my life.   Ever since then I have only tried to amplify the qualities that I began to develop in my childhood and early teens - qualities of empathy, insight, sensitivity, openness, the desire to learn, the desire to teach, and especially the desire to empower and encourage.

     I recently finished reading a book for my SW 2400 class called Turning Stones.  It's the story of a man who was a caseworker for a children's welfare service in NYC.  Heavy read.  Super heavy read.  Not for the faint of heart by any means.  In fact, the first night I started reading this, I had a bit of a panic attack:  "Can I really do this?! Can I really be exposed to this kind of tragedy and live MY life happily too?  Will I be able to make any sort of impact on kids who have experienced these kinds of things?"  After a quick prayer and an email from my inspired dad (remember THIS miracle post?), I was overwhelmed with a resounding "YES."  While the stories that Marc Parent tells in this book are absolutely horrific, it is brilliantly written and inspiring.  In the last few chapters he tells a story about how a group of nuns went on a field trip of sorts.  They would drive all over their state, and stop at beautiful sights, and then they would climb right back on to the bus to go to the next one.  At each stop, one of the nuns - an old, fragile lady - would go off a ways, and simply turn over some random rock.  Soon all the other nuns started noticing, so they asked her why she did this strange ritual.  Confidently the old woman responded, "I turn a stone so that the place is different because I have been there."  At the next stop the other nuns, reflecting on her words, couldn't help but do the same.  Without letting each other see, they quickly flipped one over with their toe, or discretely turned one over while bending down to tie their shoe.  In the next few bus stops, they no longer worried about discretion, but were flipping rocks openly!  They began to challenge and encourage one another to move bigger stones!  They worked together to push over the heavier ones, and indeed, left every place "different" because they had been there.  

     Why do you think Marc Parent told this story after experiencing some of the darkest nights of his life?  Because it is what Social Workers do.  It is what I want, so badly, to do.  He said, after he learned the very hard way, that you can't measure change.  "I'd been quantifying my actions with the families I visited.  The lives I encountered were so thoroughly stained with hopelessness and despair that I saw nothing I could do in a single evening to turn things around - and if I couldn't make it all right, if I couldn't split the earth in half, then what was the use?"  The opportunity is to "touch a life at a critical moment and make it better - [maybe] not for a lifetime - but for a moment.  One moment - not to talk, but to act - not to change the world, but to make it better."  To me, that is in fact changing the world.  Small can be great.  Thinking systematically is hard and sometimes quite ineffective.  Thinking individually first,  and then working together to turn over even the biggest stones is better.  Micro, then Mezzo, then Macro.  Kinda that "pay it forward" concept, I guess.  Individuals matter.  

     I love the talk given in this last conference, "Protect the Children" by Dalin H. Oaks.  Beautiful.  Inspiring.  Encouraging beyond measure.  "We are all under the Savior's command to love and care for each other and especially for the weak and defenseless.  Children are highly vulnerable.  They have little or no power to protect or provide for themselves...Children need others to speak for them, and they need decision makers who put their well-being ahead of selfish adult interests."  

Doesn't all of this make you want to stand up, march right up to any child you know and give him or her the biggest, love-transferring hug you can can possibly give?!  Oh, I love the little ones.  I admire them immensely.  They are the ones changing the world!   I'm so excited to be able to give little ones any sort of light in these ever-darkening times.  I'm so excited to be enabled through the Savior and to learn to love them in the most Christ-like way my human self possibly can.  I can't wait to have my own - to teach them and give them everything I can. 

      It is a process, and accepting that we aren't going to "split the earth in half" doesn't mean tolerating big problems, it means giving encouraging words, kissing ouchies better, gently teaching a principle, allowing the sky to be the limit.  It means real change that we can do every single day.....

THAT is why I want to be a social worker.  

Dreams Do Come True!

Welp, I have officially lived in Logan for two weeks now, and I can honestly tell you all that...

I LOVE IT!  I love where I live, I love my roommates, I love my ward (as far as I know' I've only been twice), I love the school, I love my classes, I love my professors, I love making new friends, I love being an Aggie, and I love that I am the only one in my family to be one.  You may call me the black sheep.  As you may know, coming to USU has been my goal for a long time now.  And whadoyaknow?  It was right for me to be here.  Even on the one day I was moving here, it all felt so right and good.  As cliche as it sounds, it's where I belong for right now.  I have had that confirmed to me several times since being here, and that is such a tremendous blessing to know that I am in the right place.  My roommates were kind of making fun of me the other day because I bought a sweatshirt from the bookstore and was so excited to wear it just because I can!  Because this is MY school!  I go here!  I am an Aggie!!  It's where my heart and school pride are, and I couldn't be happier to be here.  My goal was to get involved and I am already in ASL club, and in the National Association of Social Work.  I might be doing a Best Buddies thing with my roommate as well - where I would get to just hang out with a foreign exchange student!  I am registered for the 'Women of Faith' institute class, and am excited to learn more about how I can become a better one of those as well.  I'm hoping I'll get a calling here pretty soon, and that I'll get to know my ward a bit better.
*sighhhhh*
The Lord does have a plan for each of us.  He'll take care of us, ya know?  He just loves us!  I'm so grateful.  So, so grateful.

Provo: Conquered.

Friday my brother Troy came to Provo to help me move and the first thing said to me was, "Hannah, you conquered Provo!"  And believe it or not, I did.  At least on an Associate's Degree level.  I have to admit that I let out a few giddy/excited/semi-creepy giggles to myself as I drove home from Provo for the last time (at least as far as I know).  It was great to peace out from there.  Don't get me wrong, I loved my experience in Provo.   It's just time for little Hannah to move on to bigger and better things, aka Utah State University and Logan.
 To try to sum up everything that I learned from and loved about my Provo time would be near impossible and be much like unto a joke, because it was SO great.  I feel like I have grown and changed so much in these past couple of years that sometimes it surprises me that it has only been 2 years.  Was it really only that long ago that I graduated high school?!  No way.
Besides the constant help and strength from the Lord and my own motivations and dreams, I would have to say that there are 3 things that got me through these first two years.
1.  Having Adam in Provo with me was such a blessing.  I have no doubt that that is one of the reasons I was initially told to go to Utah Valley.  So I could be with Adam - so he could help me and so I could help him.  There were countless times that one of us would call the other up just for fun or because we were in great need of some sibling loving.  When I would have cry on my face, he would go into the creamery to get ice cream for me.  When he was lonely because all of his roommates had moved out, I would have him come over and we would squish together to watch episodes of our favorite sitcoms on my laptop.  It became a tradition for us to watch a movie on Sunday nights and we would have Sunday dinner together often.  Having Adam, my best friend, right there by me was nothing short of a necessary miracle.

2.  My roommates.  Oh, my roommates.  They became my dear friends.  I feel so incredibly blessed to have lived with such amazing girls - such good examples.  Truly, roommates can have such an influence on each other.  From laughing so hard we were crying, to times we literally had to hold each other up because our knees weren't strong enough to hold our own broken-hearted selves, we grew strong bonds and grew to truly love each other.  Whitney, Danika, Emily, Brenna, Lani, Brianna, and Meredith:  I love you!  I have been edified by our late night/early morning chats, laughs, cries, testimony meetings, cleaning checks, and dance parties.

3.  My parents constant encouragement and help.  Being able to call my mom (sometimes multiple times a day) was such a tender mercy for me.  Whether I needed to ask Mom or Dad how to cook something, or I needed to cry to them at 11:30 pm about a grade, a boy, a teacher, a friend - they were always willing to talk to me.  They made home-away-from-home a little more homey.  I would NOT have been able to be away from my parentals if communication with them wasn't an option....I've been thinking about going on a mission....is that going to be a problem for me???.... ;)

Needless to say, I am so happy to be home with these cute people and the rest of my family.  The first thing I did when I got home from Provo, before I even went inside the house, was eat fresh peas from the garden with my cute Marissa, Emily, and Cami.  Then we played outside on a giant water toy my mom got.  It was the perfect "welcome home to summer" night.  

In other news, my adorably sweet mommy hurt her eye real bad.  She was in St. George and it was dark, and the sidewalk had a really sharp turn, and she was looking away, and walked straight into a nasty mean sharp palm tree.  She's okay and the Doctor says she should be able to get her sight back, but the bone under her eye is broken, and all bruised and swollen.  The whites of her eye are not even white at all.  She is really dizzy and nauseous and in a lot of pain.  Please keep her in your prayers as she heals.  On a positive note, right before the ambulance came to get her, my dad and brothers gave her a Priesthood blessing.  On Sunday, my brother Matt was singing the closing hymn in church and was told by the Spirit that if it had not been for that blessing, Mom would have lost her eye.  The Spirit confirmed this to him, and he told us as well.  What a miracle.  I'm so grateful for worthy Priesthood holders in the home.  I'm grateful that the Lord hears our prayers and is eager to answer them.  My mom is the last person on this earth who ought to get any sort of injury, but I guess we all have things to learn from this, and she is being incredibly blessed.  Thanks to everyone (especially in the ward) who have been such a great help.  Your meals do more than fill our tummies - they warm our hearts.  We are truly touched.  

Welp!  That's all for now, folks.  Summer awaits!  Have a fantastic one. :)

Today's littles...

Hhhhallllooo.
Today I pushed the snooze button a few more time than I intended to.
However, I still got ready and wore an outfit (and did my hair) that Sydney from The Daybook would have been proud of.  Then I let my Life cereal go soggy because I was trying to take a picture of it- the outfit.  Not the cereal.
Today candy was necessary.
Today, in Abnormal Psychology, we studied about...ahem...sex (mostly sexual disorders and dysfunctions)...it was...informative.  And scary.
I sort of wanted to hide under a leettle rock.
Today the cute boy in my Astronomy class came and sat by me!  Win.  We worked on our test (open-people test) together.
I don't think I did well on it.  But still, cute boy.
My mom told me yesterday that even though I am in a crazy summer semester, I still need to have fun.
Today my "fun" came in the form of a much needed nap.  I love naps.
Today I spent way more time on facebook than I am willing to admit.
Today I watched the movie teaser for Les Mes, and had a mini freak out session.  I'm sure my roommates are concerned about my sanity at this point in time.  Whatever.
Today I had another mini freak out session thinking about my dear missionary friends who are coming home in the next couple of months!!!
Today I could have gone to a He is We concert, but that nap was so much more enticing...does that make me lame sauce?
Sometimes I feel like lamesauce college student.
Today I listened to "Somebody That I Used to Know" and "Blood" about 24 times.  I wish I could tell you that I was over exaggerating.  Again, I think my roommates are questioning my sanity.
Today I will probably have to have a small/dreaded DTR with boy.
Now I'M questioning my sanity. :/
Today I have looked at lots of pictures.  I love pictures.
Sometimes they make me laugh really hard, and sometimes they make me huge smile, and sometimes they make me reminiscinly half grin, and sometimes they make me cry.  Beh, I love pictures.
Today I have decided that life is pretty darn good.
The End.

Lately...

Going to a ward social.  Have I ever mentioned how much I love my roommies?

Dan was sad cuz it was a wee bit chilly and the smoke was blowing right on her!

Roastin' me some mallow.

Good wardies goin' on 2 years!

Happy Easter! 

Look at that Beauty.  Showin' off her new Easter dress.

Roommate Breezy came too!

Shout Out....

To my roomie, Whitney Anne Jensen.  

I met Whitney last year as a Freshman/scared-of-college little girl, and she took me right in under her wing.  She is a couple years older than me, so she was and still is a big help as I try to figure out this college thing.  See, Whitty and I don't always see eye to eye.  In fact, we butt heads sometimes.  But out of all of my roommates, I would say she and I have the most sisterly relationship.  I think it's pretty cool.   Whether I need talk something out, or feel sick and just need someone to cuddle with (that really happened.  I just cuddled with her while she read her book in bed), I know I could go to her for anything.  She takes care of all of us, actually.  Whitney has one of the strongest testimonies of faith that I have ever heard/seen.  She has had a rough go at some things in the past little while, but all throughout it, I have seen her call friends for Priesthood blessings, consistently attend the temple, write her impressions down in her journal, and move forward with a positive and trusting attitude.  She understands what it means to be grateful for trials that build us, and I think we can all be reminded of the necessity to completely depend on Christ - she is a fantastic teacher of this to me.  

Whitney is an unbelievably passionate person.  She loves with everything.  She has a giant and unguarded heart.  I so admire that about her.  

I love my Whitney, and I don't know what I would have done with out her coming into this new stage of life.  She sure made the transition a lot easier, and continues to amaze me everyday!  What will I do when I am in Logan?! 

Whitney.  Whit.  Whitty.  Whitikers (ssshhhh she doesn't like that one). "Creepy Ginger"

Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything, Whit.  I love you!!!
P.S. Hottie alert!!!

During Finals...

This is what students' apartments look like....

Who has the time?

Notice the evidence of frequent fast-food runs.

There are 3 laptops here.  All of which being used by one person.

And no judging because I know this is what all ya'll's apartments look(ed) like too.  

As soon as I'm done posting this, Imma go clean it up!  I think we can all agree to agree that this will put me in the straight win for "best roommate of the week" award.