Provo: Conquered.

Friday my brother Troy came to Provo to help me move and the first thing said to me was, "Hannah, you conquered Provo!"  And believe it or not, I did.  At least on an Associate's Degree level.  I have to admit that I let out a few giddy/excited/semi-creepy giggles to myself as I drove home from Provo for the last time (at least as far as I know).  It was great to peace out from there.  Don't get me wrong, I loved my experience in Provo.   It's just time for little Hannah to move on to bigger and better things, aka Utah State University and Logan.
 To try to sum up everything that I learned from and loved about my Provo time would be near impossible and be much like unto a joke, because it was SO great.  I feel like I have grown and changed so much in these past couple of years that sometimes it surprises me that it has only been 2 years.  Was it really only that long ago that I graduated high school?!  No way.
Besides the constant help and strength from the Lord and my own motivations and dreams, I would have to say that there are 3 things that got me through these first two years.
1.  Having Adam in Provo with me was such a blessing.  I have no doubt that that is one of the reasons I was initially told to go to Utah Valley.  So I could be with Adam - so he could help me and so I could help him.  There were countless times that one of us would call the other up just for fun or because we were in great need of some sibling loving.  When I would have cry on my face, he would go into the creamery to get ice cream for me.  When he was lonely because all of his roommates had moved out, I would have him come over and we would squish together to watch episodes of our favorite sitcoms on my laptop.  It became a tradition for us to watch a movie on Sunday nights and we would have Sunday dinner together often.  Having Adam, my best friend, right there by me was nothing short of a necessary miracle.

2.  My roommates.  Oh, my roommates.  They became my dear friends.  I feel so incredibly blessed to have lived with such amazing girls - such good examples.  Truly, roommates can have such an influence on each other.  From laughing so hard we were crying, to times we literally had to hold each other up because our knees weren't strong enough to hold our own broken-hearted selves, we grew strong bonds and grew to truly love each other.  Whitney, Danika, Emily, Brenna, Lani, Brianna, and Meredith:  I love you!  I have been edified by our late night/early morning chats, laughs, cries, testimony meetings, cleaning checks, and dance parties.

3.  My parents constant encouragement and help.  Being able to call my mom (sometimes multiple times a day) was such a tender mercy for me.  Whether I needed to ask Mom or Dad how to cook something, or I needed to cry to them at 11:30 pm about a grade, a boy, a teacher, a friend - they were always willing to talk to me.  They made home-away-from-home a little more homey.  I would NOT have been able to be away from my parentals if communication with them wasn't an option....I've been thinking about going on a mission....is that going to be a problem for me???.... ;)

Needless to say, I am so happy to be home with these cute people and the rest of my family.  The first thing I did when I got home from Provo, before I even went inside the house, was eat fresh peas from the garden with my cute Marissa, Emily, and Cami.  Then we played outside on a giant water toy my mom got.  It was the perfect "welcome home to summer" night.  

In other news, my adorably sweet mommy hurt her eye real bad.  She was in St. George and it was dark, and the sidewalk had a really sharp turn, and she was looking away, and walked straight into a nasty mean sharp palm tree.  She's okay and the Doctor says she should be able to get her sight back, but the bone under her eye is broken, and all bruised and swollen.  The whites of her eye are not even white at all.  She is really dizzy and nauseous and in a lot of pain.  Please keep her in your prayers as she heals.  On a positive note, right before the ambulance came to get her, my dad and brothers gave her a Priesthood blessing.  On Sunday, my brother Matt was singing the closing hymn in church and was told by the Spirit that if it had not been for that blessing, Mom would have lost her eye.  The Spirit confirmed this to him, and he told us as well.  What a miracle.  I'm so grateful for worthy Priesthood holders in the home.  I'm grateful that the Lord hears our prayers and is eager to answer them.  My mom is the last person on this earth who ought to get any sort of injury, but I guess we all have things to learn from this, and she is being incredibly blessed.  Thanks to everyone (especially in the ward) who have been such a great help.  Your meals do more than fill our tummies - they warm our hearts.  We are truly touched.  

Welp!  That's all for now, folks.  Summer awaits!  Have a fantastic one. :)

Happiness

This morning I couldn't stop smiling because of the blessings the Lord has given me.  Today the one that stands out to me the most is the blessing of clarity of mind - for me to be able to sort through my feelings and thoughts enough to have peace of mind.  And that is a big deal to me because I am constantly trying to make sense of my life.  Even when the Lord isnt giving me direct answers, He is still giving me enough understanding to move forward.  when people ask me what I'm doing in various aspects of my life, I can't always give them an answer, because I don't know.  I'm just doing my very best to make sure I'm constantly listening to the Spirit and to my very own heart one day at a time.  I want nothing more than to do the Lord's will because I know that is what will make me happiest.  So although I don't always know exactly what His will may be, today I am grateful for answers, peace, and clarity in whatever form they come in.  And ya know what?  I AM very happy at this point in my life.  :)  

This Song

I just have to share the lyrics of this scriptural song.  There is no other song that I love singing more, or am able to sing with more passion and conviction.  It is my testimony of the Savior.  It's words are so powerful and it is beautifully written.  I find myself humming this song to myself during discouraging times, and know that it is only through the grace of Christ that I am able to be lifted up.  If you haven't heard it, I would encourage you to look it up!  Dallyn Vail Bayles is my favorite artist who sings it.  Enjoy your ponderings, my friends!

My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee

Text and Music by Rob Gardner

For a little while 

Have I forsaken thee; 

But with great mercies will I gather thee. 

In a little wrath I hid my face from thee 

For a moment. 

But with everlasting kindness will I gather thee, 

And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings, 

For the mountains shall depart, 

And the hills shall be removed, 

And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, 

But know, my child, 

My kindness shall not depart from thee! 

Though thine afflictions seem 

At times too great to bear, 

I know thine every thought and every care. 

And though the very jaws 

Of hell gape after thee I am with thee. 

And with everlasting mercy will I succor thee, 

And with healing will I take thee ‘neath my wings. 

Though the mountains shall depart, 

And the hills shall be removed, 

And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, 

Know, my child, 

My kindness shall not depart from thee! 

How long can rolling waters 

Remain impure? 

What pow'r shall stay the hand of God? 

The Son of Man hath descended below all things. 

Art thou greater than He? 

So hold on thy way, 

For I shall be with thee. 

And mine angels shall encircle thee. 

Doubt not what thou knowest, 

Fear not man, for he 

Cannot hurt thee. 

And with everlasting kindness will I succor thee, 

And with mercy will I take thee ‘neath my wings. 

For the mountains shall depart, 

And the hills shall be removed, 

And the valleys shall be lost beneath the sea, 

But know, my child, 

My kindness shall not depart from thee!

I need some Graham Canyon...

It's quite possible that you will go on hikes and be sooo excited to see what is at the top because you believe it will be the most beautiful view.  Some people will be really good at encouraging you, and some people will be really good at discouraging you.  They will probably tell you it's not really that great, and that might not be worth it.  But!  It's possible that you get to the top and it is even more beautiful than you imagined or dreamed! 

Aaaand it's possible that you will get to the top and feel like you should be disappointed (and it's possible that you might be for a minute) because the view doesn't make you that happy.  

But wait, on the climb up to the top you experienced, and grew closer to your Father in Heaven,  and found joy, and learned, and even forgot you were actually heading somewhere else because of how wonderful the view was from that point. 

 The climb up there made you happy. 

 And that is enough.  

And there you will know...

that you keep climbing.