Words of My Soul

"Lift."  A few weeks ago, I was able to attend the sealing of my cousin, Kellee to her sweet Erik.  Oh, that was a tender day.  I wept throughout the whole day!  Like, I'm not talkin' just some little "awww" tears...I'm talkin' my nose and eyes got red and I wanted to run off into the bathroom and just let out an ugly cry sound instead of hold it in and give myself a "hold-in-your-cry" headache.  I just...I had so many feelings!  They were beautiful, good, happy, pondering-of-eternal-things feelings.  Without saying anything I shouldn't, I want to tell about a story the sealer told.  He told about how he has been married for some long about of time (I can't remember) and that when he and his sweetheart first got married, he loved praying for her.  He would pray for her throughout the day.  He would pray for her protection and happiness.  He prayed for her desires to come through and for the Lord to bless her.  He said that after they had been married for quite some time and his prayers just got a little habitual and mundane, he was quickly praying for the common things when he had a distinct impression saying "Well why are you asking me?  Be her blessings.  Bless her yourself."  He said he was a little shocked by that answer but that it was an important one for him to receive.  When he told that story, I lost it.  I love that!  I have been thinking about what love is a lot lately, and that is it.  I have been thinking a lot about the people who I love and have just felt so strongly, "if I could just lift them, even a little...what an honor that would be.  If I could just help bare that burden in some way..."  That is who I want to be.  I want to be a blessing to others around me.  "Where love is, there God is also."  Of course prayer is involved.  Of course depending on the Savior is the only way to live such love.  It is so unbelievably easy to get caught up in the day to day habits and to speed through the day just going through the motions.  But to lift someone...to slow down enough to truly lift someone.  That would be a blessing.  "Thee lift me and I'll lift thee, and we'll ascend together."  One of the greatest truths ever told.
"Fortunate" is another word that has constantly been running through my mind lately.  I am so incredibly fortunate.  God has blessed me in ways I can't express.  When I think of these blessings - when I think of what I have, the veil is thin and I feel God's love so purely.  Even in my small apartment in Logan Utah. Why me?  "Who am I, that this day, He should come to me?"  To have such wonderful people in my life?  To have had the experiences I have in order to teach and stretch and strengthen me? Someone who has so little to give back, that's who.  But I'll give it!  What fortunes we as children of God have to share!
"Sit."  Another word that, by what I believe to be divine intervention, continues to flash through my brain.  Just sit.  A while back I had a conversation with someone I look up to greatly and who I consider to be very wise.  We talked about how in some ways we were both in places in our lives where we wanted so badly to move forward and to be the "doers" that we are.  She said, "we have the faith to DO," but sometimes we have to have the faith to just wait until the Lord reveals our next step to us."  Ha, I kind of think of it like that one dog trick my dad used to do with our ol' Rascal (may he rest in peace).  My dad would make him sit down, then he would place a treat right on the tip of his nose and tell him to stay sitting.  My dad would back away slowly just telling him to "staaaaay, staaaaay."  He would do that for minutes at a time and poor Rascal just had to sit there looking at the treat.  It wasn't until my dad would wave his hand and say a loud "GO" that rascal would toss his nose up and catch the treat in his mouth.  That dog had some serious self control.  The Lord says we will be blessed after the trial of our faith.  Sometimes we really do have to just sit tight for a minute.  And that takes a lot of faith too!  Sometimes, I think, more than just going ahead and digging would.  I say digging because that same wise person who pointed this out to me, also told me..."Hannah, the Lord will move mountains but don't be surprised if He hands you a shovel."  Here I am!  Ready to dig!  Ready to MOVE!  Let's go!  But in a lot of ways, I have yet to get that "GO!" from the Lord.  Sitting and waiting for it, whatever "it" may be, can be uncomfortable and yet He is standing right there promising us that we WILL eventually get the answers...it's just a matter of His timing.  His plan.  He does find ways to make it more comfortable..."Here, have a lawn chair.  Here's some lemonade, a butterfly, encouraging friends, the Book of Mormon, the temple..."  Oh what a journey we all chose to embark on...
Lift, fortunate, sit...funny and seemingly completely unrelated words, yet words that fill my soul every day.  God is good and I am indeed fortunate.  So fortunate.