Throw Down!...those weapons of war, that is.

Sometimes it takes everything inside of you to remain silent.  Even though what the world would tell you to do  - to stand up for yourself and the slight betrayal and hurt, to confront the battle, to have a spine - is what you would normally do.  Because you believe in being assertive.  You believe in talking it out and understanding every angle.  But even more so you believe in kind words.  Ones that don't sting or stab.  Even though they come to your mind and they are really clever and pretty dang accurate ...you keep them in.  Sometimes the right thing is to step back, even though you were the one wronged, to give in, throw down your weapon of war, and be the bigger person.  And.  THAT.  Is.  Really.  Really.  Hard.  To do.  It is heavy on the chest and watery in the eyes and it takes a lot of fist-clenching, teeth-grinding, praying, and grace on the Lord's part to help fiery and unresolved feelings go away.  No one wants to be bitter but sometimes those feelings come.  It's natural to be angry sometimes.  The Lord feels anger, right?  But it is how we respond to those feelings that define who we are.
I imagine the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's had great reason to want to fight - to defend themselves, yet they refused to lift their swords.  Because Christ enabled them.  And ya know what?  We too can be enabled.  Living proof of that right here, folks *fingers pointing right at my little face*.  Sometimes I am quite surprised at the frustration that can boil up inside of me!  Like, "whoa where the heck did that come from?"  Then I'm like, "oh yeah.  Satan." And that's when you wag your little finger and cobra your head and say "uuuuuuh uh!  No way.  Get outta town!"
God is good.  Just remember that tid bit, okay?
Night!

P.S.  Umm re-reading over this, you can totally tell the transformation that takes place in my attitude and heart.  I started writing it with bitterness still in my soul and as time passed and I depended on the Lord, my heart lightened.  The atonement is real!  If you don't know that for yourself, lean on me for a minute, because it IS real and I know it.