Things I Learned From Tinder

Yes.  It happened.  And I am ashamed.  And if you tell anyone, I'll give you a swirly.   I participated in the world's shallowest app.  Tinder is the name, and "the game" is the game.  Seriously.  Ya know how most people grow to hate the dating game? So they sign up for things like Tinder?  Well jokes on them cuz Tinder is game central.   Yeah, yeah I know there are a few success stories, but mostly...not.  Just not.  However, I had a several good laughs from some of the unbelievably ridiculous things some of the guys would say, or some of the pictures they would post.  Seriously?  Word to the wise, dude, don't have your profile picture for a dating app be of you with two bikini bimbos kissing either side of your face.  You might as well have a large sign on your forehead that says, "playa" or "tool" or "gross" or the likes.  The following are some of the things that crossed my mind while swipin' through different profiles on the app:

For swipes "to the left. to the left.  Everything you [are] in a [swipe] to the left"

• No. 
• No.
• Nope.
• Absolutely not.
• Gross.
• No shirt.  
• Gym selfie.
• Cigarette in mouth.
• CIGAR in mouth.
• Baby (some guys on there were like 17!!  Really?  Try dating the girls in your own high school!!).
• Too old (yes, I did later on figure out that you can adjust the age range you are interested in).
• No shirt.
• No shirt.
• Gym selfie.
• That gauge in your left earlobe is big enough for me to jump through.  
• No.
• Baby.
• No.
• You have longer hair than I do.
• No.
• Shirtless (I feel bad for boys who use this app and see 8 million pictures of scantily dressed girls.  Unless they like that sort of thing...in which case I feel bad for the girls who objectify themselves by posting such photos.).
• I saw the word "cuddling" in your profile.  
• I saw the word "kissing" in your profile.
• I saw the word "massages" in your profile. 
• Twelve empty shot glasses in front of you.  
• No. 
• And last but not lease...no shirt. 

For swipes to the right, I usually just picked guys I thought looked like they were clean cut and well-rounded and had nice jaw lines/structures (one of my weaknesses, silly, I know).  A lot of guys post pictures of themselves holding babies or small animals.  Props.  Like we girls can't see straight through that, but props indeed.  Right swipe.  

Matching.  Haha well not much else boosts your own self esteem quite like swiping an extremely attractive guy to the right, only to find out that HE also swiped you right does.  Sure.  It put a little extra bounce in my step. 

I really hope this is their engagement picture.

Chatting.  So once the "matching" takes place, you and your match have the opportunities to chat a bit through the app.  It's safe because your phone number/personal information of any sort is not exposed.  It is all done through the app and you can block people at any point in time.  Anyway, the chatting part was okay.  My favorite first messages that guys sent me said, "Hey Hannah, I'm not a tree hugger, but if you were a tree, I would be."  "Hey Hannah, I see you like the way I look!"  Hahahaha!  But some of the guys I chatted with seemed really nice and sincere and mature.  Others...not so much.  

So.  Needless to say, Tinder is...entertaining.  Yes.  Effective?  Mmmmm...I guess it depends on what you are going for.  It's quite judgmental.  You know the saying don't judge a book by it's cover?  Yeah that's about all this is.  Judging a book by its cover. It's how you play though.  I joined mostly out of curiosity and kicks and very quickly deleted my account/app.  I'm not saying Tinder is bad by any means!  Don't get all uppity and defensive if you have used it.  I mean, power to ya if it works.  You do your thing, ya know?  For me...I think I'll stick with the old-fashioned dating game for now. ;)