As many of you may know, I have chosen to finish up my associates degree here at Utah Valley University, take Fall off (working), then transfer up to Utah Sate University to hopefully get into the Social Work program there. What some people may not know is the "why" behind this choice. I have been getting some pretty quizzical and suspicious questions about whether or not my decision has had anything to do with a certain missionary who will most likely be going there as well. I can honestly look anyone who wonders that in the eyes and tell them no. I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation for doing what I am doing, except that this is a decision that I made because it feels right. I used to just be super excited about the thought of going to USU. I think the idea of a new thing thrilled me. Well, as the decision got more and more serious, I have gotten more and more afraid. Afraid about being further away from home, being away from the majority of my best friends, afraid of starting over there, and afraid of simply making the wrong choice - one that is displeasing to my Heavenly Father. However, I know that these fears are not from the Lord. It's during these times that I have found myself saying, "Hannah Joy Russon, where is your faith?!" I have had it confirmed to me time and time again that this is the direction I am supposed to be moving, and I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't feel this way. I wouldn't say that the Lord told me straight up to go to USU, but sometimes when we don't know the exact answer, we have to move forward with what we think is good, and have confidence that the Lord will tell us otherwise if it's not right. I have continued to feel so right about it. I feel like the assignments that the Lord has for me will be best prepared for by being there - that me becoming someone and helping little kids by being a therapist, will become even more of a reality there. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even know if said missionary will actually end up going there. Sometimes the Lord changes the plans that we have for ourselves and that could very easily happen for him as well. Still, I'm going. I just know that people change, desires change, plans change, and sometimes "rights" change too. A lot of that has been happening for me lately. All four of those - in ways I can't even explain to you. Could this "right" change in 6 months from now depending on what's going on or who is in my life? Sure. But this is what I know NOW. So I move forward with that NOW, and THAT is what feels right. Some things in this life are set in stone. Some thing aren't. I have a complete testimony of that. So as far as I know, I will be taking a deep breath, rolling up my sleeves, wiping a few tears away, putting a huge grin on my face, and becoming a Utah State Aggie. When I wrote as my facebook status a few weeks ago that "I have the deep need to be an Aggie," I meant it. In a "deeper" and more special way than I may have ever initially conveyed. :) Even now, this puts a smile on my face, and I am so grateful for the promise that as we live righteously, we will be guided.
We need to trust THAT. NOW.
